Dear Darth #1

Dear Darth Vendor,

Thank you so much for the Intarwebs and stuff.  You are THE MAN n shit.  Anyway, I've been working with your technologies for about 14 years now and I have to say, bang up job, dude.  The only problem is that I keep getting smashed in the face by idiotic crap that explodes my applications sometimes, unpredictably, when I upgrade something... almost anything actually, in the environment.  And that kinda sucks.  For example, lately I was on IE 6.  It worked fine and I had no complaints with it.  But then YouTube announced that it's obsolete and they insisted I upgrade to IE 8.  Which I dutifully did in the (false) expectation that I'd get an improved experience and better security.  But now, for some unknown (and apparetly completely unknowable, even by your own guru's at the Death Star) reason it wants to "... connecting ..." to something every single time I open IE 8, or even a new tab - even though I deliberately set it to use Blank Page.  So what is it "Connecting" to?  Who the hell knows?  But it takes an extra five to ten seconds to open any tab becase of that. 

Also, it constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY crashes for no apparent reason, or just hangs.  So then I have to use task manager to kill it.  And half the time it kills not only that instance of IE 8, but also every fucking instance I have open.  So I usually lose work that way.  But just so you know, I have been sending in all of the Crash Reports to the Death Star HQ.  But nothing ever happens, and they never get back to me, or fix it.  It just keeps hanging/crashing all the time.  I'd say like four or five times a day.  Hey that's fun! 

So, anyway, I know your busy crushing the rebels and shit, but when you have some free time over there, could you kindly choke the living shit out of the project manager for IE 8 and have her replaced.  I know you dig that shit, so this is kinda like a bonus request for ya, huh?  Anyway, try to replace her with someone competent this time.  I know, I know... it's hard to find good people.  Yup, yup.  I understand.  Maybe if you like threaten their entire family and every member of their extended family going back like 10 generations (use the time portal from Star Trek) then they might consider doing their job instead of playing mini golf in the office with the secretary... ya know what I mean?   *wink*wink*nod*nod*  ... I mean like, dude, how are we supposed to destroy the rebel alliance when we have to deal with stupid fucking shit like IE 8 crashing all the time?  Its fucking retarded.  Actually, I don't mean to brag, but I almost had that ass kisser Luke right in my cross-hairs yesterday - but guuuueessss what?   IE 8 crashed on me and he got the fuck away!  I mean WTF?!  So anyway, that's all I have for ya today, but I'll write again soon.  Thanks again for all the cool gizmos and shit.  Keep up the good work. 

Sincerely your fan,
Darth Developer