Heya Darth,
Woah man, one other thing I though I should let you know about before I head off into cryofreeze for the night. When I am on yahoo groups with IE 8 this always happens... I get to the page, like email, and it shows everything and the hyperlinks get their underlines and the page looks fine. I click on the link I want to go to - BUT NO!
THEN the page decides that it wants to load some goddamn fucking graphic advertisement or something and the page jumps down about one line. SO, what happens is after that pause it then THINKS I clicked the line above the one I actually clicked and then jumps to THAT page instead of the one I wanted. So now, instead of just having to wait for that godforsaken delay (which it's impossible to tell you even need to wait because you get no indication of that fact) I then have to click on the back arrow to return to the page I want to link from, and then WAIT ... AGAIN ... for it to completely totally 100% finished loading (and you can't tell when it's finished except WOAH AGAIN - LOOKIE IT JUMPED - must be done loading now ... I gggguuuueeeessssss... maaaayyyyyybbbbbeeeee....?!) and THEN I can try to click the original link I wanted and then waaaaiiiittttt some more. Ya know, Darth old buddy, that just kinda super fucking sucks. Oh sure sure, I know, it's only a brief delay... but ya know - it happens EVER FUCKING TIME DARTH. SO what the fuck is up with that? Huh? It sucks!
But anyway, I know you're busy injecting rebel princesses with some sort of wierd truth syrum and stuff so you don't have time to investigate this right now. That's cool. I understand. No problemo. But when you get a few minutes, would you mind taking that IE 8 Project Manager out back and tearing her leg off or something? I dunno. Maybe that's a bit harsh. How about a finger? I mean think about it this way Darth - that stupid retarded fucking PM is costing EVERY SINGLE INTERNET USER IN THE FUCKING GALAXY about 5 to 10 seconds per Yahoo Email page click - or something like that. I don't know the statistics. That's not really my bag. But you can imagine if it's happening here to me with IE 8 it's gotta be bumming out a whole LOTTA people out there. Totally bumming them out, man. Can you imagine? They're probably out there dissing you right now and shit. Ya know? You can't let that happen, dude. You should be making an example of that stupid fucking PM so that people don't decide to turn to the Light Side and forget about the Sith Overlard thing and all that. Otherwise you know that Luke and his light sword thingie might get ya. You do NOT want that. So be a man (sort of) and go get that PM. KK? Great, I knew I could count on you. You da BEST!!
See ya on the flip side,
Fav Fan,
Darth Developer
Monday, May 31, 2010
Dear Darth #1
Dear Darth Vendor,
Thank you so much for the Intarwebs and stuff. You are THE MAN n shit. Anyway, I've been working with your technologies for about 14 years now and I have to say, bang up job, dude. The only problem is that I keep getting smashed in the face by idiotic crap that explodes my applications sometimes, unpredictably, when I upgrade something... almost anything actually, in the environment. And that kinda sucks. For example, lately I was on IE 6. It worked fine and I had no complaints with it. But then YouTube announced that it's obsolete and they insisted I upgrade to IE 8. Which I dutifully did in the (false) expectation that I'd get an improved experience and better security. But now, for some unknown (and apparetly completely unknowable, even by your own guru's at the Death Star) reason it wants to "... connecting ..." to something every single time I open IE 8, or even a new tab - even though I deliberately set it to use Blank Page. So what is it "Connecting" to? Who the hell knows? But it takes an extra five to ten seconds to open any tab becase of that.
Also, it constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY crashes for no apparent reason, or just hangs. So then I have to use task manager to kill it. And half the time it kills not only that instance of IE 8, but also every fucking instance I have open. So I usually lose work that way. But just so you know, I have been sending in all of the Crash Reports to the Death Star HQ. But nothing ever happens, and they never get back to me, or fix it. It just keeps hanging/crashing all the time. I'd say like four or five times a day. Hey that's fun!
So, anyway, I know your busy crushing the rebels and shit, but when you have some free time over there, could you kindly choke the living shit out of the project manager for IE 8 and have her replaced. I know you dig that shit, so this is kinda like a bonus request for ya, huh? Anyway, try to replace her with someone competent this time. I know, I know... it's hard to find good people. Yup, yup. I understand. Maybe if you like threaten their entire family and every member of their extended family going back like 10 generations (use the time portal from Star Trek) then they might consider doing their job instead of playing mini golf in the office with the secretary... ya know what I mean? *wink*wink*nod*nod* ... I mean like, dude, how are we supposed to destroy the rebel alliance when we have to deal with stupid fucking shit like IE 8 crashing all the time? Its fucking retarded. Actually, I don't mean to brag, but I almost had that ass kisser Luke right in my cross-hairs yesterday - but guuuueessss what? IE 8 crashed on me and he got the fuck away! I mean WTF?! So anyway, that's all I have for ya today, but I'll write again soon. Thanks again for all the cool gizmos and shit. Keep up the good work.
Sincerely your fan,
Darth Developer
Thank you so much for the Intarwebs and stuff. You are THE MAN n shit. Anyway, I've been working with your technologies for about 14 years now and I have to say, bang up job, dude. The only problem is that I keep getting smashed in the face by idiotic crap that explodes my applications sometimes, unpredictably, when I upgrade something... almost anything actually, in the environment. And that kinda sucks. For example, lately I was on IE 6. It worked fine and I had no complaints with it. But then YouTube announced that it's obsolete and they insisted I upgrade to IE 8. Which I dutifully did in the (false) expectation that I'd get an improved experience and better security. But now, for some unknown (and apparetly completely unknowable, even by your own guru's at the Death Star) reason it wants to "... connecting ..." to something every single time I open IE 8, or even a new tab - even though I deliberately set it to use Blank Page. So what is it "Connecting" to? Who the hell knows? But it takes an extra five to ten seconds to open any tab becase of that.
So, anyway, I know your busy crushing the rebels and shit, but when you have some free time over there, could you kindly choke the living shit out of the project manager for IE 8 and have her replaced. I know you dig that shit, so this is kinda like a bonus request for ya, huh? Anyway, try to replace her with someone competent this time. I know, I know... it's hard to find good people. Yup, yup. I understand. Maybe if you like threaten their entire family and every member of their extended family going back like 10 generations (use the time portal from Star Trek) then they might consider doing their job instead of playing mini golf in the office with the secretary... ya know what I mean? *wink*wink*nod*nod* ... I mean like, dude, how are we supposed to destroy the rebel alliance when we have to deal with stupid fucking shit like IE 8 crashing all the time? Its fucking retarded. Actually, I don't mean to brag, but I almost had that ass kisser Luke right in my cross-hairs yesterday - but guuuueessss what? IE 8 crashed on me and he got the fuck away! I mean WTF?! So anyway, that's all I have for ya today, but I'll write again soon. Thanks again for all the cool gizmos and shit. Keep up the good work.
Sincerely your fan,
Darth Developer
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