Hey Darth ya old supermotherfucker, how are ya? All well on the Death Star? Cool man! You da best!
Anyway, I thought I'd just send a quick message about my fun experience with excel just now. I'm running windows 7 and trying, you know, to do some like analysis and stuff. So I'm using Excel and everything is going great. Excel is a little bit sucky in that I keep having to remind each sheet that the named ranges are not for different sheets which means I have to niddle around in that idiot fucking Name > Define ... box and give things names like "SLP_BonusA1" because excel is too stupid to know that I mean on the current sheet, not some other sheet, but ok, that's not that big a deal. So after an hour of niddling around and all that stuff and finally getting the formatting and stuff right, and everything looks good - excel crashes.
Thanks Darth. You've done a real bang up job developing the foundations of computer software going into the 21st Century. So we should all say Thanks Darth! You DA MAN!
Then we should have a huge world-wide class action lawsuit to recover all the money you cost us in wasted hours spent redoing all of hour shit because you motherfucking software keeps crashing, no matter what the fucking version. So let me think... I'm guessing that I've lost over the last 10 years about, conservatively, lets say, about a half hour every day.
.5 x 365 * 10 = 1825 hours.
I pay myself about $100 / hour.
$100 * 1825 = $182,500
Plus pain and suffering for all the gawd damn mutherfucking frustration... I'd say I should get a multiplier for all of that. What do you say about 2.5? Sounds fair to me.
$182,500 * 2.5 = $456,250
Now lets multiply that by all the computer users who use Windows. Lets see last time I checked Windows had a huge fucking monopoly on Operating Systems world wide... about 90%. Ok cool. So lets say that, oh, conservatively, half the world uses computers. That's about 3 billion people. So 90% of that is 2.7 billion people. Let's consider me an average computer user, losing about a half hour a day, every day, on miscellaneous gawdanm shit due to your incredibly effective project management over there on the Death Star. Ok... here we go.
2,700,000,000 * $456,240 = $1,231,848,000,000,000.00
Oooo neato. Looks very much to me like you owe the world:
$1,231,848,000,000,000.00 !!
Yup, Darth. I just double checked my math in excel and that's exactly right. Fun!
I wonder if I can find a lawyer to take this case. Because I'm guessing that the entire fucking world wants to rip you a new one about now, just like I do. Funny that. Gee, I guess you might have thought about that 15 years ago before you decided that it was a good idea to just pump your fucking shit out the door without quality controls, and without any consideration for what the entire world would suffer from your stupid fucking bug-festooned software. Uh huh. That's rrrriiiiiight Darth you old super-fuck. All this shit is actually, really, your fault. Because you were the one who decided that market share was more important than quality. And this is the result. Sooooo...
PAY THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB TWAT!
Sincerely,
Your Favorite Fan,
Darth Developer
