But wait! There's more!

Ok, so anyway, Darth, I'm pretty sure you're thinking that I'm just ranting and there's no real reason for it.  That's ok.  You may be right.  But let me try to explain this to you so you can judge this for yourself.

So I'm finally I think at the tail end hopefully of upgrading to IIS7 for my project (instead of working on new business functionality).  So I created a new project as an ASP.Net Web Application.  I took all my files and folder by folder added them.   Then I spent three days debugging all the errors that came up.  Ok finally I figured out, without any help from MSDN which was completely useless, that I need to delete all the folders in the Temporary ASP.Net folder (why in the name of the Dark Emperor do you not simply do that when VS 2005 compiles, one would normally wonder - except of course it is a form of torture, so it makes sense).  Ok so I got through all that after three days.  Fine.  But then I notice that now that I finally have all the blue-squigglies resolved, and I can compile and run the site through VS2005, when I make a change to a file... it doesn't appear on the site.  WTF?

Ok well the reason for that, it turns out, is that even though I'm pointing IIS 7 virtual directory to the location on my d drive under Inetpub, the project got created under my USERS > bla bla bla > Projects folder for some fucking reason no one in the universe can understand.  So I then try to point IIS to the wwwroot folder where the project actually changed the file data, but then I get that big gigantit stinking piece of shit error message (see the post before this one).   Um.... Darth, Darth, dear darling Darth... WTF?  

You really just SUCK, don't you?

Admit it.  You SUCK.

Ok, well that's it for tonight.  After three solid days of struggling, fighting, ripping my hair out, I still don't have a development environment that works.   That's great.  You're so fantastic it's hard to explain.  Really. 

Keep up the great work, Darth.  You are Fantastic!

Sincerely, your devoted fan,
Darth Developer

PS - WTF is this?

Hey Darth,

Right, so WTF is that?  Notice that the error is in a Messagebox?  But it's so MUTHERFUCKING HUGE THAT YOU CANT GET TO THE FUCKING OK BUTTON???   Uh huh.  Yup.   That's right, Darth.

Why would you do that?   Is it like you just are too fucking stupid or what?   I don't get it.  You're obviously not that fucking stupid, or you wouldn't be The Great And Horrible Darth Vendor - but then again you did try to jump over Obi-Juan when he had THE HIGH GROUND and got your fucking legs chopped off like a moron, and the Emperor had to fucking build you that noisy-ass breathing-suit and shit, so well, maybe you actually are that mutherfucking stupid.  I don't know. 

Anyway, I think this messagebox kind of clinches it... common, just admit it... your a fucking stupid piece of fucking shit.  Yah?  Can I get an AMEN, BROTHER??  Ok.  That's good.  The road to recovery starts with admitting your a stupid fucking ass mutherfucking piece of goddam fucking STUPID shit.  Say it again.  Ok.  That's good.  Feel better?  Good.

Now, could you go down to the basement and start cracking heads together and using the Force and the Dark Side Lightning and shit on all the fucking morons working for you?  That would be great.   Then maybe we might get one year where your products and development tools don't make developers wonder if it wouldn't be a better life to live their lives up Jaba's skanky fucking ass instead. Ya know?

Ok, anyway, thanks again for all the good work you're doing, anyway.  I really like the translucent window headers in Windows 7.  That's incredible.  And the cornflower blue shading?  Brilliant!!!!!  Now, if you could just spend a tiny bit of time working on MAKING YOUR GODDAMN FUCKING DEV TOOLS WORK... that would be nice too.  Ok so thanks again!  You are the BEST!

Sincerely, your devoted fan,
Darth Developer

Dear Darth #6

Hey Darth,

Just thought I'd check in and see how you're doing up there in the Death Star and shit.   Wazzup!?!   :D

Anyway, all I gotta say about your development tools and stuff is this:  HOLY MUTHERFUCKINGSHIT!  What the fuck are you THINKING?   You know, Darth, I love you and shit, but your development environment is a big piece of stinking shit.  And I think you know that.  So here I am trying to build some business functionality.  But instead of doing that, which would be great - instead - I'm sitting here for an entire mutherfucking weekend figuring out what the goddamnfuck you did to the new IIS7 platform and Visual Studio to completely fuck my project up the ass for three fucking weeks.  Nothing personal, Darth, but you muthfucking SUCK!   Ya know?   So instead of working on my project and getting new stuff on my site, no - instead of that - I'm sitting here trying to debug your dev tools for you.   How fucking fun is that?

But I think you think I'm exaggerating, so let me give you just one fucking stinking piece of shit example so you can know for a goddam fucking FACT that I'm not kidding around here.  

Let's take IIS7.   1) NOTHING in your documentation warns a developer that if you don't purchase the Professional version of Windows 7, that you're completely fucked with that little piece of shit ASP.Net IIS emulator that fucks your site until it bleeds.  For example, why don't you try making a site in Visual Studio 2005 under IIS 6 with relative paths to images.  THEN try upgrading to the latest hot new shit Windows 7 Home Premium.   It offers to let you install IIS7 which is an upgrade, but ok, whatever.  You go right ahead Darth and follow along with me here.  This is going to be fun.  Now, look at the nice little image file in your site referenced with a ~/Image/MyFuckingImage.jpg.   Ok?  Looks fine right?  Ok now click that shiny little green triangle to compile and click to that page.  WOAH!!!>!>!&!!T!  WTF??!!?!   The image isn't there!  Instead you seeing that fun little red 'x' that says "sorry you stupid mutherfucker, but I don't know what fucking file you're looking for".  Uhhuh.  That one.  Yup.

So NOW go to MSDN and beat your fucking helmet against that for three days and see what that gets you.  Oh about 100,389 documents that never fucking mention one goddam word that you're using that insipid piece of shit ASP.Net emulator junk-shit.   Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...  so you have to UPGRADE TO PROFESSIONAL to make it work.  OHHHHH!!!  WELL WHY THE FUCKING HELL DIDN'T ANYTHING IN THE DEATH STAR DOCUMENTATION GIVE YOU A CLUE???  

I think you should ask your people about that.   And that's not all.  Honestly, THAT IS NOT ALL.  In fact the nightmare goes on and on and on and on, trying to upgrade to the HOT NEW PLATFORM.   uh huh.  You should try it yourself and see how much fun you have with it.   Go ahead, its fun.  I promise.

Ok so anyway, that's all for today, Darth.  Thanks for a great set of development tools.  You're the best!

Sincerely, your faithful fan,
Darth Developer